Fear transferal

Transferring to Oklahoma State has been both the best and worst decision of my life.
A dramatic statement to be sure, but it's an accurate one.
When I left Tech last spring, I left not just the state I grew up with behind as well as everyone I knew and loved. I left behind an understanding about who I was meant to be, what I was supposed to be doing and a skill set that I'd spent years trying to perfect.
But all that I had to leave behind.
Not only am I in a state that's completely different from Arkansas in geography, climate and people but also in what's socially accepted as OK. For that reason, I have a hard time communicating myself well to Oklahomans.
I left behind a skill set in fictional and creative writing; sure I'd taken a few JB classes before coming to OSU, but nothing could have prepared me for my change in major.
Everything I thought I knew and understood changed when I came to OSU. I'm just now realizing that I know nothing about who I am anymore, and what I'm supposed to be doing. And being half way through my college career, that's definitely terrifying.
I think it's safe to say that I've never been so scared in my life.
But the people here, are amazing. I was talking to one of the members of my beat about OSU and she hit the nail on the head when she said that she "fell in love with everyone here."
Sure, I've managed to ruin things with some people that I cared a lot about because I was being an idiot and not dealing with my own issues on my own time; for that I have no right, reason or desire to forgive myself from something that's that unforgivable.
But the people here... They're so liberal and pure compared to most Arkansans. Don't get me wrong, I love my fellow Arkansans.
Another good thing about the transfer is that while I'm not aware of what the heck I'm doing right now, the classes are way more in depth than anything I ever had at Tech. I feel that when I graduate from OSU, I'll be better prepared to enter whatever field I will go into.